How to Fake Stomach Flu and Take a Day Off Without Getting Caught
How to Fake Stomach Flu
As a professional, there may come a day when you have an urgent commitment or need a break from your workload, perhaps on the day of an important meeting or case submission. What can you do in such a situation? All you need to do is fake stomach flu. Its symptoms are cramps in your abdomen, diarrhea, vomiting, nausea, and fever. But why fake stomach flu? Because stomach flu is easy to fake out as there are no external symptoms of the disease, all you must do is good acting, and you can get a leave.
In this article, we’ll guide you on how to pretend to have stomach flu, but it’s worth understanding why you might choose this particular ailment.
Why to fake stomach flu?
We all understand that lying, particularly about our health, is not an ethical choice. If you constantly feign sickness to take time off work, it can damage your reputation among your colleagues. Eventually, people may not believe you even when you are genuinely ill. However, there are instances when pretending to be sick might be the only option due to urgent and compelling reasons. Some of these scenarios are:
- Need to Attend a Funeral: If someone close to you passes away suddenly, you may need to rush to the funeral. In such emotionally charged circumstances, pretending to have a stomach ache might be the most convenient excuse.
- Urgent Hospital Appointment: You might have a critical appointment at the hospital that requires your immediate presence. Being on time might be vital for your health, and faking stomach flu can be a way to secure the time off.
- Incomplete Work Assignment: If your boss assigned you a task the day before and you could not complete it on time, feigning stomach flu can offer a temporary solution. It buys you some time to finish your task without immediate consequences.
- Meeting an Old Friend: Occasionally, life presents unexpected opportunities, like a surprise visit from a friend you haven’t seen in years. If canceling the meeting isn’t an option and you need the day off, pretending to have stomach flu can allow you to seize the moment and enjoy precious time with your friend.
While these examples provide insight into why someone might choose to fake stomach flu, it’s essential to emphasize that honesty and integrity should be the guiding principles in professional life. These scenarios are shared to understand the reasons behind such choices rather than endorse them
Tips and tricks for how to fake a stomach flu
How to fake nausea and vomiting
Simulating nausea and vomiting, common symptoms of stomach flu, can be a necessary part of pretending to be ill. To accomplish this, you might want to drink a little water and make the facial expressions typically associated with retching. However, be cautious not to overdo it, as it can look insincere. Aim for realism: place your hand over your mouth and hurry toward the bathroom. With a little practice, faking vomiting can be convincingly done.
How to fake diarrhea
Another telltale sign of stomach flu is diarrhea. To feign this symptom, clutch your abdomen as if in pain. This action may lead others to believe your stomach is hurting. Politely ask for permission to use the restroom or simply make your way there. Upon your return, maintain a weary expression. You might also ask someone nearby for medication related to diarrhea to enhance the believably of your act.
How to fake fever
Faking a fever can be a bit more involved. Here are some strategies you might employ:
- Begin shivering, as if chilled by a fever.
- Find a jacket, stole, or any piece of warm clothing and wear it to signal that you feel cold.
- If you anticipate someone might physically check your temperature by touching you, you can raise your skin’s temperature by dipping your hand in warm water multiple times.
- Rubbing your hands together will also create warmth.
- If you have access to a thermometer, you may wish to place it in your mouth, or ask someone for one.
- To fake a high reading on a thermometer, you might use a nearby coffee machine to dip the thermometer in a cup of warm coffee or hot water.
- If you prefer a less risky approach, drinking a warm beverage before placing the thermometer in your mouth might suffice.
How to make a fake stomach-ache
To truly convince others of your fabricated illness, mimicking abdominal pain is essential. Frequently hold your abdomen, but be mindful to consistently grip the same area, as inconsistency may arouse suspicion. Your aim is to make others believe that a specific part of your side is hurting, consistent with stomach flu symptoms. Above all, strive for a natural and unforced appearance.
Also read Why Do I Get a Headache after Crying
Steps to Make People Believe in Your Fake Stomach Flu Story
When attempting to convince others of a fake stomach flu, it’s essential to exhibit convincing symptoms and behaviors. Follow these carefully crafted steps to create a believable scenario and gain the sympathy and concern of those around you.
Try to act dizzy
- Appear a little lethargic and dizzy, especially while working or walking towards the toilet.
- When standing up, grasp the side of your chair before sitting down again.
- Place your head down for a few moments so those around you can sense something is wrong.
- Wobble as you walk to further the impression of dizziness.
- Lean back in your chair and close your eyes when seated to look disoriented and unwell.
Avoid eating in front of anyone
On the day when you want to fake stomach flu, avoid eating or drinking in front of others. Doing so will make your lips look pale, sending a signal that you’re unwell.
Avoid talking to people
Staying quiet will reinforce your act. Avoid engaging in conversation and sit alone, eyes closed. When asked why you’re so quiet, you can then explain that you’re not feeling well.
Wear Less Makeup
If you’re a woman, it’s easier to look ill by wearing less makeup. On the day you plan to take time off, minimize makeup or choose shades that make your lips look pale. Avoid using kajal, liner, blush, and concealer to make your face look pale and unwell.
If you are a man, apply pale-colored lipstick and use dark-colored concealer or foundation to mimic dark circles under your eyes. This will create the appearance of sickness.
Run to the Toilet Frequently
Since severe diarrhea is a symptom of stomach flu, you’ll need to convince others that you have a stomach ache. Make frequent, hurried trips to the toilet to make those near you suspect that something’s wrong.
Ask for help
If you want others to know you’re unwell, start asking for assistance. Request medicine or a doctor’s phone number, or ask for help getting to the bathroom if you feel “dizzy.” Be careful not to overdo it, as that might give you away.
Make the Toilet Appear Dirty
This might seem like an extreme measure, but if you’re desperate for time off and have a strict boss, you might consider making the toilet look dirty. You can use brown-colored sauce or paint in the commode, and the next person who enters will likely question what’s wrong with you. Since no one likes a dirty toilet, you might just earn your day off.
By taking these steps, you can convincingly fake stomach flu and get the time off that you need. It’s important to act realistically and not overdo it, as suspicion might lead to discovery.
Conclusion
This article outlines simple steps to feign stomach flu for a day off from work. Whether for emergencies, commitments, or just a break, these tactics can be effective when used judiciously. However, repeatedly faking illness may tarnish your credibility, so use this strategy sparingly and always strive for realism to avoid detection.
Note: While the article provides information on faking an illness, it’s important to recognize that honesty and ethical behavior should always be prioritized in the workplace. The revised text is shared with the understanding that it’s for entertainment or illustrative purposes, not as an endorsement of dishonesty.
Dr. Kelly Han is a seasoned medical professional with a passion for holistic wellness and integrative health. Based in San Francisco, her expertise spans across various domains of health, from fitness and skincare to oral health and weight management.
Understanding the intricate connections between different aspects of health, Dr. Han believes in a comprehensive approach. Whether it’s the latest skincare regimen, effective weight loss strategies, or understanding hormonal imbalances, she’s dedicated to providing readers with evidence-based advice and actionable insights on a wide array of health topics.
Through her articles, Dr. Han aims to empower individuals to take charge of their well-being, offering them the knowledge and tools they need to lead healthier, more vibrant lives. Join her in exploring the multifaceted world of health, beauty, and wellness.